Searching for Remus
by ForgottenMoonbeam92
Summary: Teddy knows next to nothing about his father. From what he has overheard, he believes his father to be weak, selfish, and cowardly; he hates the very thought of Remus Lupin. How can Harry convince him otherwise?
1. Chapter 1

**_Searching for Remus_**

Now, I know it wasn't like this at all. But this was an idea that wouldn't go away, as much as I knew that it wasn't canon, wasn't realistic, could never, ever happen, etc. So I hope you like, and I will update soon, I promise. If people are interested.

I don't own a thing, as much as I wish I did.

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_**Chapter One**_

"Harry, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Harry Potter looked up from his work, squinting with the ache of staring at long rolls of parchment for the past two hours; he sat back and motioned his Godson forward into the room. "Of course."

Ted Remus Lupin took a seat opposite his Godfather and stared down at his interlaced fingers. He was a young man of sixteen, tall, lanky, built like his dead father. He tugged a lock of hair absent-mindedly; it turned from sandy brown to bright red with a faint pop. He stared at it, wrinkled his nose, and turned it back before addressing Harry.

"What do you know about death?"

Harry's heart lurched. He knew instantly that Teddy did not mean 'death' in a general term; he also knew that now was not the time for a flippant, _it's when you die, Ted, _answer. He stared across at Teddy, who was now staring at him with an_ almost_ innocent curiosity. Harry cleared his throat and collected his thoughts, pushing away the fear that had grasped him at the simple words. Teddy was so much like his mother. Straightforward, honest, impetuous…he was also a lot like Harry himself, and Harry knew he had only himself to blame.

"Why?"

Teddy shifted. "I want to know."

"About death?"

"Yes." Teddy cocked his head when Harry didn't reply. "Well? I'm sure you know something; you can't be The Boy Who Lived for nothing."

"That was a long time ago, Ted."

"Does that really matter?" Teddy raised one eyebrow, and the gesture reminded Harry so suddenly, so violently, of the boy's father that he nearly choked. He faked a coughing fit to cover the lump rising in his throat.

"No. I just don't think…death, Teddy, is not a subject to be tossed around, you understand?"

"Yes," Teddy said. "But I do think I ought to know a little."

Harry sighed. "Yes. Everyone ought to know a little. But not too much. I don't want you to know too much."

"Hermione said that knowledge is an asset."

"That's Hermione," Harry said with a laugh. "And she's right, for the most part. But some knowledge shouldn't be…shouldn't be known. The mysteries of Death are one of those pieces of knowledge best left unknown."

"Why?"

"Well, because it's dangerous," Harry said. "Very dangerous. Once people start searching out death's intricacies, they want to start seeing people who have died, or bring people back. And that's impossible, and can drive any sane wizard mad."

Teddy shifted in his seat. "Well, what if someone were to find a way to make death penetrable? To bring people back?"

Harry looked at his Godson carefully, knowing where the young man was going with this. "You want to bring your parents back, don't you." It wasn't a question.

Teddy hesitated. "Just one of them."

"One does as much damage as two."

"Yes, but…I just want my mum." Teddy looked defiant, as if daring Harry to ask why. Harry did.

"Why not your dad?"

"Because…I don't know him."

"You don't know your mum, either," Harry said, feeling a stone drop into his stomach. This is what came of keeping secrets from teenagers. He ought to have known; curiosity led to dangerous situations. This was one of them.

"I feel like I do," Teddy replied. "My dad…no one knew my dad. No one talks about him. I figure he was…well, I just want my mum, that's all."

"Wouldn't it be better just to bring them both back and get to know your father?" Harry asked. "Hypothetically speaking, of course."

Teddy considered this. "Maybe. Probably. But I don't really want to. Not after what I've heard."

"Teddy…" Harry leaned forward, peering into his Godson's blue eyes earnestly. "This is foolish talk; I shouldn't have encouraged it. I want you to forget it. All of it. Death is something that shouldn't be meddled in. Everyone dies, and it's unnatural to be brought back."

Teddy frowned; he seemed to be struggling for control. "I thought you'd understand," he said finally. "You, of all people. I _need _to see her. I've got pictures, but they're not enough anymore. I want to see her, really see her."

"I know," Harry said quietly, getting up and crossing to put a hand on Teddy's shoulder. "But it's not right."

Teddy threw off his Godfather's hand, and he was suddenly shouting. "You don't understand! You and your famous past and your good life…you don't get it, do you?"

Harry looked stunned, and a sad, knowing smile crossed his face. "I think I understand more than you think I do."

"No! You—you…"

"Teddy! I lost my parents too, you remember!" Harry said, attempting to lay a placating hand on the teenager again. Teddy shook him away.

"But they were famous; you were famous…you had consolation! Everybody wanted to be parents to you, everyone wanted to be your friend…"

"And you _don't _have consolation?" Harry's forehead creased, and he looked a little angry now. "You've got the Weasleys, your Grandmother, Ginny and me!"

"And you're wonderful, you really are," Teddy said, waving an impatient hand. He already looked a little sorry for his outburst. "But they're my _parents._ It's different, you ought to know that."

Harry passed a hand over his face and sighed; Teddy knew he was thinking of Sirius Black, Dumbledore, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Hagrid. "Yes, I know," he said. "But Ted, I don't think it wise to want them back. I spent my entire childhood—and most of my teenage years—wanting them back. But wanting someone back from the dead—it's wrong, dark magic."

Ted flung himself into a chair, feeling mutinous. "I don't know anything about them. It's natural I should want to know."

Harry sank into a chair next to him, looking miserable and tired. "That was a mistake on my part."

Teddy frowned, leaned forward. "Yours? Why?"

Harry bit his lip. "You've got a lot of your mother in you, Ted. Impetuous, exuberant. Remind me of me, actually. Pity you haven't got much of your father's sense along with his looks."

"Just how well did you know my parents?" Ted could feel his quick temper rising again. How much did his Godfather know that he didn't?

"We were acquainted," Harry said. 'I only wanted to protect you…"

"From what? My past? I have a right; I have a _right _to know!" Teddy was angry again, and the sick look on Harry's face did nothing to sate him.

"Sometimes we need protecting from our pasts," Harry said quietly. "You've got too much of me in you for me to feel comfortable telling you before you were old enough to understand. And that's my fault; I raised you, I taught you. I let myself rub off on you without checking your curiosity."

"Understand what?"

"Death and its dangers," Harry replied.

"What can be dangerous about wanting to see someone you never have?" Teddy glared at his Godfather, fuming. He, of all people, should have understood Teddy's longing.

"When that someone is dead," Harry began sharply, but Teddy cut him off.

"You've seen your parents!"

"Well, yes, but…"

"So why can't I see mine?"

"Because…well, learn from my mistakes, Ted!" Harry said. "You've got to learn! Death is not to be trifled with!"

"How can I learn when you've never warned me of the consequences?" Teddy hissed. Harry threw up his hands in disgust. "Teddy!"

"If you won't tell me, I'll find out myself," Teddy said, standing abruptly and striding toward the door. Harry reached out to placate him, but Teddy ignored the hand. He sank back, berating himself. After all his anger and frustrations at Dumbledore as a teenager, he had blundered into the same situation with Teddy. Instead of telling his Godson of his parents' lives, he had chosen, with Ginny and the rest of the Order, to keep Teddy in the dark. They rarely spoke of Remus and Nymphadora Lupin. Teddy, they knew, would want to know, to find out about his parents, and perhaps, if he was anything like his Godfather, want to bring them back. Harry knew how dangerous this was, and so he had chosen, however miserably, to pretend that he had not known Teddy's parents. Only Andromeda, Teddy's grandmother and guardian, had refused to honor the arrangement; she had insisted on teaching Teddy everything about her daughter, but even she spoke only guardedly about Remus.

Harry was not sure now that they had done the right thing. In fact, he was nearly positive they hadn't. Teddy had inherited his mother's impatient personality, and what with being raised with Ginny and Harry Potter as surrogate parents, their impetuous personalities had rubbed off on him as well. He was eager to know his mother, leery of his father, and heading toward knowledge that Harry had tried to protect him from for so long.

He sighed. The boy did not even know his father had been a werewolf. He knew nothing. And now he wanted to know, as Harry had known he would all along. He knew they had lost the moment Teddy had become old enough to ask where his parents were, knew they had lost the moment Remus and Nymphadora had died sixteen years ago. He rubbed a hand across his eyes and resolved to speak to Teddy first thing the next morning. The boy needed to know.

Teddy appeared at the door to his own room, and at the accompanying CRACK, his Grandmother's voice drifted upstairs.

"Ted? Is that you?"

"Yes," Teddy returned, eager to gain the quiet and solitude of his own room. "I'm awful tired, Gran—I'll see you it he morning, all right?"

"You're not ill, are you?"

"I'm fine," Teddy said firmly. "Good night!" He shut the door sharply behind him and turned to collapse on the bed. His owl hooted from her perch by the door, and he looked at her mulishly. "You want out, Hedwig?" He stood again as she hooted dolefully and crossed to the window. He opened it, and she left her perch and landed on his shoulder, rubbing his cheek gently with her beak. He smoothed her feathers and smiled at her caressing. She flew out of the window and disappeared into the fading twilight. He watched her disappear, and then flopped into his desk chair and pushed aside a pile of books and broken quills. He pulled open the top drawer and from under a pile of discarded letters and homework extracted a photograph. It was obviously well protected with charms; it was spotlessly shiny and straight.

A young, pretty woman with a heart-shaped face beneath spiky bubble-gum pink hair laughed at the camera, black eyes twinkling with happiness. An infant with dark hair that changed to purple and back again was smiling in her arms, looking sleepy and content. Teddy touched her face lightly with one finger and slid it down to the baby. Him. He stared at the woman for a moment more, and then put the picture carefully back in the drawer and slid it shut. His dresser was covered with photos of the same woman, but she ranged in them from infancy to adulthood. Her hair and eyes were a different color in every one; in some she was accompanied by friends or family, others she was alone. There were precious few of her with her infant son, and none with her husband.

He had no pictures of his father. No one did—he had no idea what Remus John Lupin looked like, had no idea what he had acted like, did not know his character or his background. His father, according to Harry, had been a brave, dedicated man who had died to help the Order. According to his Grandmother, however, he was less-than-satisfactory.

_"Grandma?"_

_"Yes, Ted?" The woman looked up at the five-year-old boy with a gentle smile and pulled him onto her lap. _

_"Who was my father?" The little boy's eyes were bright blue today, his hair a vivid red. It was obvious he had just returned from playing at "Grandpa Weasley's."_

_Andromeda Tonks' face paled, but she smiled. "His name was Remus Lupin, Ted, you know that."  
"I know his name," Teddy said plaintively. "But what was he like?"_

_"He was very quiet," Andromeda said cautiously. "And rather withdrawn…which means he didn't talk or smile much. Now, go on, Teddy, run and play." She set him down, but he stared back up at her in confusion._

_"But…"_

_"I'm busy, Ted!"_

His Grandmother had refused to say any more that day, but maintained a stony silence every time the young Teddy mentioned his father or mother. Ted had not dared to say any more until a few years later, when his curiosity again overcame him. He was seven years old.

_"Gran, what did my dad look like?"  
Andromeda had paused in her rocking and knitting and her lips had tightened. _

_"He was tall, too thin. Too old for your mother. You look a little like him, though you're certainly more cheerful."_

And that was all he had managed; his Gran had blocked all other attempts to describe his father through the years. He had managed to glean from various sources that Remus Lupin had been intelligent, though rather cold, careful, and brave. Always brave. From this, he figured he had nothing to be ashamed of his father, but nothing to be especially proud. He had carried a fantasy in his heart of a loving, distinguished, handsome father until an incident two years previous. He had overheard his Godfather and Grandma talking about his father, and all illusion had shattered.

_"…father abandoned them! He would break Ted's heart!"_

_"Yes, Dromeda, but if he knew why!"_

_"Then he would know too that his father was a coward!"_

_"No, merely…"_

_"Do not try to gild it, Harry Potter! He left them! She four months pregnant and helpless…and he left to save his own pride!"_

He had crept away here, burning, miserable, and his Gran had sent him to bed early, convinced he was falling ill. He had not had the courage to tell her what he had heard, or ask her further about his father. His illusions had fallen as he lay tossing that night, the words playing themselves over and over in his head. _Left her…coward…abandoned them…helpless…_

He arose the next morning with a new image in his head; that of a skulking, round-shouldered, rather balding man with a weak mind and heart. He knew that his father had been tall and broad-shouldered, but it soothed the ache a little to imagine his father worthless, undeserving of pity or compassion. He knew that there were parts of the story he was missing, but he knew that there was no excuse for what his father had done. And so he put Remus Lupin to the back of his mind, degraded and dethroned from the pedestal on which he had been raised.

Teddy moved from the desk to his bed, where he stretched out without bothering to undress. He reached over to his bedside table and picked up another photo in a silver frame. This was his favorite; it showed his mother sitting in a rocking chair beside a crib, rocking a small bundle. A tuft of lavender hair the same color as his mother's poked out from behind the red blanket. The aura it gave was of comfort and peace, and the colors were vivid and catching, but what made it his favorite was the expression of ultimate love and content on Nymphadora's face as she gazed down at the blanket-clad infant.

He fell asleep, as he so often did, staring at her face.

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Review, please! More to come soon if I get approval...


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, here's chapter two...sooner than I expected, but there you are. There'll be three more chapters after this one, so I hope you're all along for the ride! Thanks so much for reviewing:

Dark Angel: Thanks for reviewing-Ted will be ok, I promise...

PottersLittleSister: Thanks for the compliment! Yes, Remus made a few mistakes, and I hope I portray all of his characteristics right.

I 4 2 write: Here' s more!

dui: I have my own image of how Remus looks in my mind; the movie butchered him. So that's where I get the tall-broadshouldered stuff from-I figure to be a werewolf he's got to be pretty buff. :) And since this will be a Remus/Teddy centered fic, I will do my best to show Remus how I think he was, faults and all. Thanks for commenting!

And just to make things clear-its italicized because Teddy is in memories. It's not a computer glitch or anything. Enjoy!

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_**Chapter Two**_

Harry pushed open the study door and twisted his head to gauge Teddy's reaction. The soft blue light that emanated from the stone basin on the desk cast dancing shadows on the wall and across Teddy's face. Harry beckoned him forward and shut the door behind them both.

"This is a pensieve, Ted," he said. Teddy nodded.

"I know. Where'd you get it?"

"I borrowed it, actually," Harry said. "Last week. I've been setting it up for you to use this afternoon. I'd been planning on speaking to you a week ago, but I thought that maybe this would work better."

Teddy looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "Why do I need it?"

Harry smiled. "It's not for your thoughts; it's for you to take a look at some old memories. I've got some of mine in there along with some others I gleaned from people who knew…" he hesitated, and Teddy finished the sentence for him. "My dad."

"Well, yes," Harry admitted. Teddy's voice had been expressionless, but the interested light had disappeared from his eyes. "Just give it a chance, all right? Get to know your dad a little. And before you ask, no, I didn't just take the good memories. I put his mistakes in there too."

"Does it have any of my mum?"

"A little."

Teddy looked a little mutinous, but a cautious curiosity had crept back into his face. Harry sighed. "For me, Ted. I spent all morning preparing this for you, and…"

Teddy flapped a hand at him. "All right, you don't need to guilt-trip me. I'll look at them, ok?"

Harry grinned. "Thanks. Some are longer than others, but I don't think you'll be bored." He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. "I'll make sure you're not disturbed."

Teddy nodded and the door shut behind his godfather. He flopped into the desk chair, staring at the carved runes and symbols on the pensieve. The blue, shimmering light was almost hypnotic, and he finally sighed and pulled himself up.

"This is for you, Harry," he muttered, and shoved his face into the swirling thoughts. He fell into the void, tumbling through darkness for several moments before performing what felt like a slow backflip into the memory.

_A little disoriented, he nearly missed his Godfather's first words. Harry stood in front of him, looking tired and a little old. He was holding his glasses in one hand, scrubbing at his forehead with the other. _

_"Teddy, I know I should have told you this years ago. And I don't blame you for being angry with me. I expect you to be furious, actually. I even took the easy way out in telling you through memories rather than face-to-face. Forgive me." He sighed, replaced his glasses, and looked up; Teddy moved an inch to the right so that Harry was staring right at him. "This is your father, Ted. One of the best men I ever knew, and I think I knew him better than most." Pause. Cough. "Nothing for it. Here you are." His Godfather vanished, and there was momentary blackness. _

_--_

_Then it brightened, and Teddy found himself standing it the middle of the Great Hall. It was packed with students, sitting at their respective tables. All of them were staring up at a small knot of students at the front of the hall, in the center of which was the ragged sorting hat. Teddy glanced around him; an older boy with bright red hair was sitting a few seats away from him, staring with interest not at the sorting, but at a short, cheerful-looking girl across the table. Teddy recognized her as a younger Molly Weasley; she too had red hair. This was Arthur, then, and Mr. Weasley's memory. _

_"Lupin, Remus!" _

_The name jumped at him from across the hall; he whipped around to see a young, lanky boy with dark brown hair clambering onto the sorting stool. Even from here, he looked pale. The hat fell down around his ears-there was nearly thirty seconds of silence, and then, "Gryffindor!"_

_The table to Teddy's right erupted in a storm of cheering; Remus slipped off the stool looking relieved and moved along the table towards Teddy. He took the empty seat next to Arthur, who greeted him with a handshake._

_"Arthur Weasley. Good job, getting Gryffindor!"_

_"Thanks," Remus said quietly, flashing Arthur a nervous smile. "I wasn't sure."_

_"Well, the Sorting Hat's never wrong," Arthur said genially. "Glad to have you."_

_Teddy stared down at his eleven-year-old father, feeling an odd mixture of amusement and anger. Gryffindor? How could his father have been in Gryffindor? But the room began to dissolve, and with it Remus. _

_--_

_His father looked older now, tired, stressed, as he sat head down in the Hogwarts library, poring over a dusty, ancient volume. There were several books stacked near him; obviously books for light reading; both wizarding and muggle novels_._ He turned a page, fingering it absent-mindedly as he shifted position on the hard chair. His light brown hair flopped into his eyes, but he did not move to push it away. Occasionally he would pause in his reading to scribble something on a piece of parchment in slanted cursive. Just when Teddy began to wonder why this particular scene was in the pensieve, Madam Pince, the vulture-like librarian, appeared from between two rows of books. _

_"I'm sorry, Lupin," she said almost kindly, "but it's almost after hours. I'm closing the library."_

_Remus looked up at her, a polite smile creasing his face. "Thanks. Mind if I just finish this sentence?"_

_Madam Pince smiled. "Of course not. Take your time." She turned away, and Remus bent hurriedly back over the parchment, forehead creased as his eyes flew across the page. Teddy snorted. So his father was a favorite with the librarian. A suck-up. Brown-noser. All the same, he was intrigued. So his father had liked to read…just like Teddy. _

_"What are you studying, Lupin?" Pince asked a moment later as Remus straightened and shut the book. Remus looked up with a sudden grimace and said shortly, _

_"Dark creatures and how to subdue them." _

_A shadowed look passed across Pince's face before she smiled understandingly and patted him on the shoulder. "Get a good night's rest tonight."_

_"Thanks, I will," Remus said mechanically, slinging his bag across his shoulders and flashing a quick smile. "Goodnight, and thanks for letting me bother you tonight."_

_"It's no trouble."_

_Remus strode out of the library and the scene changed…_

_--_

_The hospital wing was dark, quiet, and vacated but for one occupied bed at the very end. The single light cast by the bedside lamp illuminated the shadowed face of Remus, sitting propped up with pillows. Teddy walked down the row of beds, staring at his teenage father. He looked _awful._ Congealed blood matted his scalp; shadows under his eyes emphasized his obvious exhaustion. One arm was tucked against his side, the other holding the wrist tightly to keep it in place. He was extremely pale, eyes glinting oddly amber in the lamplight. He looked around as Madam Pomfrey hurried toward him from her office, hugging her nightdress tightly around her and bearing several bottles of potion. _

_"What took you so long this time, Remus?" she asked in motherly irritation. "You've never been this late…"_

_"I was a bit dizzy," Remus said vaguely, wincing as she lifted his arm to examine it carefully. "And it didn't end until about noon, so I had to wait until it got dark to leave the Willow."_

_This puzzled Teddy, but he waited, more curious then he would have dared to let on had there been a witness. _

_"Your friends could have helped you out."_

_Remus shrugged but didn't answer; he looked a little guilty, and Madam Pomfrey's lips tightened as she swabbed a brownish liquid onto the scratches on his arm. She glanced up into his face several times as she worked, but he avoided her gaze._

_"Remus," she began a few moments later, voice layered with concern, "I want you to be careful, understand? There aren't many things more dangerous than a werewolf, and if anything should happen…"_

_"I know," Remus interrupted, and his voice sounded harsh and bitter. "I know."_

_Madam Pomfrey didn't reply, so there was nothing to distract Teddy's suddenly whirling, horrified thoughts. A werewolf? Remus Lupin had been a werewolf? _

_"I'll be careful, I promise," Remus said, breaking the silence and his son's thoughts with his tired, hoarse voice. "I promise."_

_--_

_He was now standing against the wall in a crowded, noisy corridor; it was obviously between classes, and the students were scrumming to get through, loaded with books and bags. Teddy glanced around, reluctantly eager to find his father, and spotted him almost immediately. The tall, rangy teenager was standing quietly next to two very loud, white-faced, enraged boys that Teddy recognized immediately from pictures in Harry's house; James Potter and Sirius Black. Remus looked highly uncomfortable, worried, and rather exhausted. The cold realization dropped into Teddy's stomach—his father was a werewolf. He almost gagged, furious with himself and suddenly, with Harry. Such a vital piece of information! But James was shouting over the clamor now, and Teddy moved closer to listen, pushing away the anger for later._

_"You dare! You dare to even speak her name, you filthy sniveling Slytherin! How DARE you?" _

_For the first time, Teddy noticed another teenager, this one with shoulder-length, greasy black hair, who was looking cornered and furious against the wall of students. He was wandless, but his fists were clenched at his sides as though daring James to attack him. _

_"She is not your property!" he yelled, and Teddy recognized him; Severus Snape. "She's not yours, and she never will be!"_

_"She's not yours either!" James shouted, incensed, and his wand arm rose. Remus stepped forward hastily then, and one long-fingered hand rose to stop the wand's progress. _

_"James, please. Not in the corridors."_

_"Outside then!" James said. Remus shook his head and with apparent little effort forced James' hand back down. _

_"No! He hasn't done anything…"_

_"He's insulted all of us, Moony," Sirius stepped in, his own wand clenched tightly in his fist. "You're not going to let him get away with that…"_

_"Yes, I am," Remus said firmly, loudly, over the catcalling and jeering of the crowd. He glanced at Snape, and his gaze seemed almost pitying underneath the stress. "And you'll listen, both of you. I am a prefect, and I will dock you points! Or detention!."_

_James started to laugh, incredulous, but the stony look on Remus' face stopped him dead. "You're not serious."_

_"No, he is," Remus said, a ghost of a grin passing over his face. Sirius snorted, but did not look amused. _

_"Come on, Moony."_

_"No. Please, James."_

_"I don't need your help," Snape said coldly, eyes flashing as he stared at Remus across the hall. "I can deal with my own problems."_

_"I'm not doing it for you, then," Remus said mildly. "James, Sirius…"_

_James threw off Remus' placating arm then, staring at the werewolf bitterly. "Forget it." He raised his wand, but at that moment a voice rang through the hall, stopping everyone in their tracks. Teddy turned to see a younger Professor McGonagall striding toward them, livid, and the hall darkened._

_--_

_He was back in the hospital wing, but instead of Madam Pomfrey this time, James, Sirius, and a boy Teddy knew must be Peter Pettigrew were gathered around Remus. Teddy moved closer, staring as if hypnotized at his father's face. Teddy could tell he had been crying, though he looked Teddy's age. Now Remus simply looked furious, betrayed, hurt; he wouldn't meet any of his friend's eyes. Teddy glanced around the hospital wing, confused; whose memory was this? His answer came as he saw Madam Pomfrey watching through her office window, a sad but wary look on her plump face. His curiosity peaked; what had happened that she thought they needed supervision?_

_"Moony, I'm sorry. I really am," Sirius said, for what sounded like the umpteenth time. "If I could go back…"_

_"Well, you can't, can you, Black?" Remus snapped, amber gaze jumping to Sirius' face. "You can't go back. You can't change what happened."_

_"Nothing happened, though," Sirius pleaded, looking at James for help. James only shrugged lopsidedly, face creased in a frown. "Prongs got there in time."_

_"But what if he hadn't?" Remus asked, leaning forward, eyes blazing, one eyebrow cocked scathingly. "If I had killed him; if I had even _touched _him, I'd be rotting in a cell in Azkaban right now. And you know where you would be, Sirius? Here. You'd be here at Hogwarts, going about your classes like nothing had happened!"  
"No!" Sirius looked scandalized. "No, I'd be sitting right there next to you, keeping you laughing like always…"_

_"I wouldn't be laughing," Remus said. "And you wouldn't be there with me. That's not what happens in this world, Black. I'm not normal. You are. You're the "Noble and Most Ancient House of Black"; I'm a half-blooded monster. I go to prison, and you get off with not so much as a warning. I get the Kiss, and you're laughing at home with your life intact."_

_"Laughing! I'm not laughing!"_

_Remus laughed, a horrible, barking, stricken laugh that had all four of his listeners recoiling. "I am! I'm laughing! Because I don't know what else to do. I nearly had what life I have ruined last night. And it was all your fault. And I'm sorry, Black. I don't know if I can forgive you."_

_Sirius swallowed. He looked utterly miserable. "I apologized to Snape."_

_Remus jerked his head. "Well, I should hope so. Telling him to go meet a fully grown werewolf down a dark tunnel inside the Shrieking Shack where he regularly transforms and rips things to shreds deserves an apology. "_

_"I know."_

_"And now he knows too."_

_"I know."_

_"Go away, Sirius. I can't talk to you anymore." Remus looked suddenly beaten, bruised; he lay back on his pillows, face white against the sheets. "Just go."_

_Sirius looked for a moment as if he were about to say something else, but no sound came out. He cleared his throat, and his eyes looked suddenly wet. He turned away quickly and strode down the hospital wing, back straight. James and Peter stared after him, and then back at Remus._

_"Think you can ever forgive him?" James asked quietly. Remus laughed hoarsely._

_"I don't know, Prongs. I really don't know."_

_James nodded slowly. "I'll stick with him, you know. I won't abandon him."_

_"I know. I wasn't expecting you to. Thanks, James. For getting Snape, I mean."_

_"Yeah. It was stupid thing for him to do."_

_Remus' grin was full of anger, bitterness; when he spoke, his voice was harsh again with rage. "Tell me about it." He turned to the side, away from Teddy, James, and Peter, and exhaled shakily. "I'm tired."_

_"We'll let you get some sleep, then," James said quietly, and motioned to Peter. They both left quickly, and Teddy was left to stare at his father, who after a moment turned to face the ceiling. There were tears on his cheeks, and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly and let them come._

_--_

_Teddy found himself back in Harry's study now, and there was Harry again, watching him anxiously. "Ted, I decided to give you a little breather here; I know you're probably overwhelmed. There's a load of information in these few memories, and I wanted to give you some time to process it. Think about them for a while; I think you'll find you already know your father lots better than you used to."_

_Teddy turned away from his Godfather and stared at the wall behind him, thoughts whirling. What did he know? His father was a werewolf. How long? When had he been bitten? By whom? How? Why was he at Hogwarts? Teddy abandoned this bit of information; there were too many loose ends. _

_His father liked to read; so did Teddy. He had been a Gryffindor prefect; so was Teddy. His best friends were James Potter and Sirius Black, and unlike what seemed the rest of the school population, he didn't hate Severus Snape. Apparently he had always done his homework, which was a trait Teddy _hadn't _inherited, and he was a favorite with both the school librarian and nurse. He had gotten into a rather large argument with Sirius over what had sounded like a prank gone wrong, he didn't like trouble, and he had no apparent love interest. Had his father been any fun at all? _

_Teddy groaned in frustration. He had facts, and that was all. He still knew virtually nothing about his father's personality but what he could infer from the memories so far. He turned back to Harry, who was staring at the wall blankly, apparently lost in thought. As he watched, Harry jerked, looked up, and smiled lopsidedly. _

_"Ready for the next batch? What I've showed you so far is mostly fact (Teddy grinned). What you're about to see is your father's more emotional side. Mind, getting into his emotions was like trying to dig into a concrete wall with a toothpick most of the time, but I've found by collecting these memories that he showed them more as a teenager. So here you are."_

Review, please!


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, here's chapter three! Sorry I don't have time to respond individually tonight to all of you, but thanks so much for reviewing! Hope you enjoy this next one...its got a weird memory at the end, but I couldn't cut it. So just kind of disregard it as a ridiculous whim of mine.  
Thanks!

* * *

_**Chapter Three**_

_A young boy sat sobbing on a grassy hillock overlooking the lake, head in arms. His shoulders shook in misery, and Teddy stopped, feeling awkward. Then he reminded himself that it had happened years ago, and that there was nothing he could do. He glanced around him, searching for Remus, feeling a little disgusted with himself. What had happened? Why was he so eager?_

_"Frank?"_

_It was Remus, bag slung over his shoulder, face concerned. The boy jerked, turned his face away from the approaching Remus. "I'm fine."_

_"Sure you are." Remus sat down a few feet away from Frank, tactfully turning to face the lake. "I saw what happened back there. I'm sorry I didn't stop it."_

_"There was nothing you could have done."_

_"Prefect," Remus reminded with a slight smile. "I could have stopped it. But I'm a coward, Frank, and it cost you. I'm sorry."_

_Frank shrugged. "No, really. I'll be fine."_

_Remus sighed. "I know. But that doesn't make it any easier right now." Frank made an odd sort of hiccupping laugh noise. Remus coughed. "You wanna come back up to the common room? James and Sirius are planning something."_

_"Oh…you go ahead. I'll come later."_

_Remus raised an eyebrow, and Frank flushed faintly. "I'll wait with you, mate."_

_"No, really, you don't have too…"  
"Listen," Remus began firmly. "You've been up here for nearly half an hour. That's long enough to get it out of your system; I don't want you wallowing, hear? It doesn't do any good. You've just got to get past it. If you don't let it affect you, it won't. Trust me on this one." _

_Frank grimaced. "All right."_

_"Come on."_

_Remus stood and held out a hand to the younger boy; Frank took it and stood, looking embarrassed but grateful. "Why are you friends with them?"  
"With who?" They started back toward the castle, and Teddy scrambled up to follow them. _

_"James and Sirius."_

_"Why?"  
"They're so…calloused, almost." Frank looked really embarrassed now, and he waved a hand. "Forget it. That's not what I meant."_

_"No, I know what you mean," Remus said thoughtfully. He grinned. "I guess someone's got to keep them in line." He slugged Frank gently on the arm. "But it's a good thing I know you too, mate. Sometimes it's nice to get away for a while."_

_Frank smiled, pleased, and Teddy paused, watching them walk back up toward the castle. _

_--_

_"Lily. Lily!" A flustered Remus sprinted unseeing past Teddy, who took a step back in surprise and then followed his father at a jog. A pretty girl with long auburn hair turned at the top of the stairs; it was obvious she'd been crying. _

_"What do you want?"  
"Lily…" Remus ground to a halt a few feet away from her, unusually pale and stricken. "I'm so sorry. I should have…I should have stopped them. I could have stopped them. It was my fault, I'm so sorry…"_

_"It _wasn't _your fault, Remus," Lily-Potter, Teddy thought-snapped. "It was theirs. Theirs and his. I'm not going to sugar-coat Sev, Remus. I know you don't like him, but he's…he's not what you think…" her face twisted, and she turned away. Remus reached out a hand and grasped her shoulder gently. _

_"Lily, please, don't. Can we talk?"_

_She nodded mutely, hesitatingly. Remus pulled her across the hall into a shadowy alcove and stared down at her—he was several inches taller. "I don't hate Severus," he said abruptly. Lily wiped her face with one hand and shook her head._

_"No, I know you don't. I shouldn't have said you did."_

_"But James and Sirius do." Lily looked hurt. Remus held up his hands hastily. "It's just a fact, Lil. You know as well as I do. But that doesn't make them bad people. They're just…just boys. They don't get it. Not yet."_

_"You're their same age, Rem," Lily said. "And you don't act like that."_

_"Yes, well, I never really had a chance to be a kid," Remus said with a sad half-smile. "They did. They didn't have to grow up like I did. And we both know that guys grow up slower than girls do. They'll grow out of it."_

_Lily laughed shortly. "Maybe."_

_"Lil…"_

_Lily placed a placating hand on Remus' chest, the highest part she could comfortably reach. Teddy saw his father shiver, and Lily smiled slightly. "I know. I know they will. It's just a little hard to believe after they do something like they did." Her face quivered, but she didn't stop. "And I'm going to stop hanging around Sev so much." It looked as if it hurt immeasurably to say this, but she held her chin firm and offered another small smile. "I think it's for the best."_

_Remus looked for a moment as if he were about to protest, but Lily shook her head. "Don't, Remus," she said softly. "Don't make it harder for me."_

_Remus gave a sideways jerk of the head and then drew her into a hug. She pressed his face against his shoulder and Teddy could see her eyes sparkling with tears before she shut them tightly. _

_As the scene dissolved and Teddy wondered just _whose _memory that had been, he caught a glimpse of Professor McGonagall with a softened look on her face standing half-hidden in the shadows with an armload of books…_

_--_

_He was in McGonagall's office now, and watching three boys bowed over three desks, scribbling what looked like lines. He moved closer, recognizing them as James, Sirius, and Remus. As Teddy watched, Sirius nudged James, who was sitting between them, and palmed him a scrap of parchment under the table. James took it, glanced at it, and passed it on to Remus. Remus took it and opened it carefully. Feigning a yawn, he read it quickly. His face grew stony, and one eyebrow rose in what Teddy was beginning to recognize as signature. He stared at it for several seconds, giving Teddy the time to skim it hastily._

**I'm really sorry. It was my fault. Snape won't ever forgive me, but you're one of my best mates. I'm sick of not talking.**

**-Padfoot**

_Remus crumpled the parchment in one fist and shoved it into his pocket before bending down and beginning to write in a neat, slanted cursive once more. His hand was shaking. Sirius' face dropped and he returned to his own writing. Teddy gathered from the seriousness of this exchange that more was at stake than just a detention. His mind flashed back to the scene he had viewed earlier; that of the four boys in the Hospital Wing. Looking more carefully at Remus, Teddy judged he looked the same age, decided that this was indeed the aftermath of the Whomping Willow incident, and bent over to read the next note._

**I'm really, really, really sorry, Moony. Please. I won't stop until you say something.**

**-Padfoot**

_Remus scribbled a hasty reply and sent it back via James. Sirius shot him a grin that he ignored and opened the note. _

Forget it.

_It was almost comical how quickly the grin left Sirius' face. James glanced sideways at the note too, and he turned back to stare accusingly at Remus as if to say, _can't you let it go, yet?

NO. He almost ruined everything.

_**But he didn't.**_

But he could have.

_Teddy watched this with growing sympathy on Sirius' part. He understood where Remus was coming from, yet from all he had seen of his father until now, his attitude now seemed uncharacteristic. Several times McGonagall looked up from her desk suspiciously, but all she saw were three boys bent obediently over their desks, diligently writing lines. _

**I don't blame you. I wouldn't (This was crossed out and replaced with 'haven't) forgiven myself either. **

_Sirius looked utterly miserable and he sent a lopsided shrug at Remus with the last note before returning to the lines in earnest. He did not look up again, but Remus, normally so diligent, seemed unable to focus. He was uneasy, restless, and kept shifting position and shooting glances at James and Sirius, who were stoically working without further notes. As Teddy waited, his father's hard face softened, until finally, with a small sigh, he began another note._

Forget about it, Padfoot. Nothing TOO serious happened. I can't say I've forgiven you completely, but I'm not really chuffed anymore. Promise me you'll NEVER do anything like that again, because next time I don't know if I'll be able to find it in me to forgive you. This is hard for me, Sirius. But I don't like not talking either. Shake on it.

Moony

_As Sirius read the note, his face lit up. He leaned around James, gave Remus a huge grin, a thumbs up, and a mouthed, _I'm really, really sorry,_ and promptly froze at the sound of McGonagall's voice._

_"I could put you in separate rooms, Black."_

_Sirius flashed her a charming smile. "My, are you looking splendid tonight, Professor. Wouldn't want to deprive one of us of your…"_

_"Yes, that's quite enough," McGonagall said. There was a hint of a smile around her mouth as she shook her head. "Keep working."_

_"Yes, Professor. Won't happen again."_

_"I should think not."_

_Remus was grinning as he continued his writing, but it was nothing compared to what shone on Sirius' face, or Teddy's as the scene dissolved…_

_--_

_Remus looked older than Teddy now, and Teddy surmised from the packed Great Hall that it was the going away feast for his father's seventh year. He glanced around and caught sight of Frank sitting a few seats away from his father and his friends. His memory, then. _

_The Feast was apparently just ending, because Dumbledore was standing and the Hall fell silent almost at once. Teddy turned toward the Headmaster, interested. He had never met the man almost as famous as Harry himself, though Dumbledore's wide smile was almost as familiar as if he had. _

_"Another year ends. And for our seventh years, it will be the last. Ah, parting; 'tis such sweet sorrow. Sweeter for you, I am sure; as you all go on to become Quidditch Players and Healers and politicans, I am sure that the rest of us will scarcely cross your mind. However, you will all be sorely missed by most of the students in this school. I say this only because I have had a special request by one of our lovely fifth year girls who speaks for the entire female student body. Rachelle?"_

_Dumbledore gestured with one hand at a Ravenclaw girl with long black hair who stood and made her way to the front of the hall. She looked rather nervous, but excited, and she tossed her hair back over her shoulder and cleared her throat loudly. Dumbledore sat back down as she beckoned several girls up beside her, who all came giggling and whispering with violent blushes._

_"We decided early this year to compile a list of the most eligible seventh year boys," she began. Titters, but she pushed on. "And we wanted to give them something to remember Hogwarts by and let them know that they've been missed, and that every single girl here has fancied at least one of them at least once while they've been here. So…" she pulled out a square of parchment from inside her robes. Despite the skepticism, most of the girls looked interested, and the boys as if they were trying not to be so._

_"Starting with number ten and working our way up, number ten is Evan Rosier."_

_A storm of cheering from the Slytherin table. The burly seventh year stood and strode down the hall to stand next to Rachelle. _

_"Tavin Withers."_

_Ravenclaw. This boy was blushing, but looked pleased._

_Teddy snorted in amusement. He'd have to remember to ask Harry why exactly this memory was here. He glanced at his father, who was looking just as amused as he; Sirius and James were both clapping rather lazily, obviously certain they'd be in the top slots. _

_"Wyakin Brewster."_

_Ravenclaw. _

_"Talon Omard."_

_Hufflepuff._

_"Easton Klingler."  
Gryffindor._

_"Parker Chambers."_

_Ravenclaw._

_"Darryl Summers."_

_Slytherin._

_The crowd was into it now; even the teachers looked interested, clapping politely for each student who worked their way up to stand next to the girls. Everyone was shooting glances at Sirius and James now, obviously wondering which of them would take first. Remus leaned forward and whispered something in Sirius' ear, who grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. James shot them a dirty look and Teddy laughed._

_"James Potter."_

_Sirius whooped triumphantly as James stood. James slugged him as he passed, earning a cry of outrage. There were a few whispered mutterings around the hall, and several of the girls looked ready to start protesting. James was more eligible than _third, _for Merlin's Beard…_

_"Sirius Black."_

_Silence. Teddy laughed out loud. Sirius' face was a picture of shock as he stood and walked up to stand by James. Embarrassed laughter as everyone realized how seriously they were taking this, and then Rachelle flipped her hair again and glanced up at everyone._

_"And now, for number one, who, despite popular rumors, is NOT Sirius Black, the most fanciable boy in school, whom we'll all miss very much…" she seemed to be enjoying her moment very much now, and she took a deep breath, drawing out the suspense._

_Teddy had a sudden suspicion and glanced down at his father, who was taking another bite of pudding and looking around the hall like everyone else. Perhaps this was why Harry had put it in here…_

_"Remus Lupin."_

_Remus choked, gagging on the pudding, and Peter thumped him on the back. The hall erupted in feminine cheers and a few half-hearted deeper voices and smiles from the staff. Remus twisted in his seat and gaped at Peter. "Me?"_

_"You, you prat!" Peter yelped. "Go on!"_

_Remus stumbled to his feet, blushing furiously, and waded through the crowd of students up to the top of the Hall. Sirius and James were both half laughing, half glaring as he joined them, looking as if he'd like nothing better than to crawl into a hole and die. _

_"Judging by the reception, I'd say the vote was unanimous," Rachelle said pompously, and she stuffed the parchment back into her pocket with a flourish. "And now, for the lucky prize; we have asked several girls to bestow them in an orderly fashion. As winner, Remus will get a little bit extra."_

_A Slytherin girl stood up from her seat and sashayed up to Evan, who looked excited. She planted a kiss on his cheek to catcalls from the student body and then looped her arm in his and escorted him back to the Slytherin table, where room for two had been made. A Ravenclaw girl came for Tavin and acted in kind; all of the other boys were either apprehensive or excited now._

_When it reached James, Lily stood from the Gryffindor table. When she reached him, he grabbed her and planted as kiss on her mouth instead; laughter and applause, and a slap from Lily, and she escorted him back to the Gryffindor table. Sirius, of course, had to outdo him, and so when his escort arrived her kissed her full on the mouth, swung her up into his arms, and carried her back to Gryffindor table amid hoots and a storm of applause. Remus now stood alone, hands thrust into pockets, pale face almost glowing. Teddy moved closer, startled at how similar they appeared at a distance. It was like looking in a mirror; the same amber-colored eyes, light brown hair, and long, angular jaw line. They were within two inches of each others' heights, with the same lanky build. _

_He felt a sudden rush of affection toward his father that he didn't try to push away. There was still doubt, still fears about what he might see with Remus as an adult, but for now…_

_The scene changed. Teddy yelped in protest. What had happened?_

_Harry was back, looking at the wall with a hopeful expression._

_"Please, don't be tempted to murder me with that last memory, Teddy. I watched it, and it was quite disturbing, actually. I'll tell you this much; your father did NOT enjoy it, and it involved several girls from various years and houses. The teachers weren't too thrilled either; I believe that all those involved received detention." He shifted and grinned._

_"So, that's your father during his teenage years. I believe I covered everything; he was kind, patient, forgiving, loyal, friendly, and quite popular with the girls. He was also hardworking and honest, and watching this myself gave me a new appreciation for how hard he worked. He didn't have it easy. As we move into his adult years, you're going to see just how hard he had it. Oh…and I got some of these memories from some of the Order's collections, so some of the witnesses have already passed away. Some of them are actually your father's. Here we go."_

* * *

Review, please! And forgive the last memory. I really don't know what came over me.


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the next installment...thanks so much for your reviews-they make me insanely happy! Hope you enjoy this next bit. There'll be just one last short chapter after this one; its really more of an epilogue, actually. So yeah. Here we go.

* * *

_**Chapter Four**_

_Mad-Eye Moody and Albus Dumbledore sat opposite Remus, looking extraordinarily sober. Teddy eased himself onto the very edge of the couch next to his father, anxious. Harry's last warning, _"…you're going to see just how hard he had it," _tugged at the edges of his mind as he watched the scene unravel. Dumbledore placed the tips of his long fingers together and stared across at Remus, who was looking apprehensive and slightly ill._

_"He betrayed them, Remus. I'm so sorry."_

_Remus' face creased, and he sat up a little straighter. "What? Who? Betrayed who? What are you talking about, Headmaster?"_

_"Sirius Black has betrayed the Potters. They were murdered late last night by Lord Voldemort."_

_"No…" The whisper was full of shock; what little color there was in Remus' face drained away. His hands clenched into tight fists, revealing thin scars etched on their backs. "He wouldn't. He couldn't. I know him, Headmaster. He's not the spy, I swear. There's been a mistake…"_

_"He was their secret keeper," Moody growled. "He betrayed them, Lupin. There's no other explanation. He'll be shipped to Azkaban within the week. Lifetime sentence."_

_Remus' gaze shifted back and forth from Dumbledore to Moody as if hoping one of them would disprove the other's words, but neither of them said anything else. Remus swallowed, and a great, shuddering gasp shook his entire body as he began to shake his head. "No. No. Headmaster…please…there's got to be some mistake, maybe he switched…switched without telling anyone…you've got to investigate, you've got to make absolutely sure…"_

_"There was no one to switch with," Moody said softly. "Peter Pettigrew is dead too. Black got to him before we could."_

_At this, Remus' body gave a violent start and he bent forward, groaning. "Peter…Peter too? No. NO!" He screamed, and Teddy stared at his father, shaking on the couch, eyes blank and staring at something no one else could see. Tears began to fill his eyes, and they rolled unchecked down his cheeks. Teddy knew this story; knew how Voldemort had killed Lily and James Potter, Sirius Black had gone to Azkaban, and Peter Pettigrew had joined the Death Eaters, but he had never before connected with the fact that his father had lost just as much; all four of his childhood friends. _

_Remus seemed to come to a sudden realization, because he jerked up, horror written clearly on his features. "And Harry? What about Harry? Please, don't tell me…"_

_"He survived," Dumbledore said, and a ghostly smile passed over his face. "Voldemort attempted to kill him; the curse rebounded. It's all to young Harry Potter that Voldemort is gone."_

_Remus didn't look particularly thrilled at this news, but he nodded just the same. "What will happen to him?"_

_"He'll be sent to live with his muggle relatives."  
"Couldn't I…" Remus broke off at Dumbledore's sad smile. "No, I suppose I couldn't," he muttered, folding his hands under his chin. He sat very still for a moment, and then his face crumpled again and he buried his eyes in shaking fingers._

_"Remus…" Dumbledore stood, but Remus shook his head again._

_"Please go."_

_Moody stood too, gentle concern on his scarred face. "If there's anything we can do, Lupin."_

_"Just go." _

_Moody and Dumbledore stood, and Teddy had no choice but to follow them from the room. As they closed the sitting room door behind them, Teddy heard another wild, heartbroken scream and the sound of breaking glass._

_--_

_It was snowing, and the village of Hogsmeade was full of Hogwarts students. Teddy searched the crowd for several moments before his father pushed past him in the crowd. His face was more lined now, his hair spattered with gray. His robes looked old, but clean and well cared for. Teddy followed him down the street, still feeling the shock of the last memory. His father kept glancing back over his shoulder as he walked, and Teddy found himself turning to look every time Remus did. They were being followed. Or, Remus was being followed. A tall, burly man wrapped in a thick black cloak was behind them every time Teddy looked, and he was getting closer. Teddy sped up to walk alongside Remus, but his father seemed to be slowing down._

_"What are you doing, Dad?" Teddy spoke aloud before he realized he had, but of course, nobody heard. _

_Remus finally seemed to come to a decision, and he ducked into a narrow alley between Scrivenshafts and a small pub, turned, and waited. The man appeared at the mouth a few seconds later, hesitated when he saw Remus waiting, and then strode into the alley._

_"Did you want something?" Remus asked politely, eyebrow raised, though there was an edge to his voice. The man reached up and unwound the scarf from around the lower part of his face so he could speak. _

_"For the safety of Hogsmeade residents, I am to follow you until you leave the village."_

_"What? Do you have a warrant?" Remus looked taken-aback, but the surprise left his demeanor quickly. "You're from the ministry?"_

_  
The man nodded. "Auror Oswald Parkin."_

_"I've had nothing to do with the werewolf attacks outside London."_

_"We can't be sure of that."_

__

Remus nodded jerkily and smiled; Teddy could tell it was false, but he wasn't sure the Auror could. "Very well, then. I won't be here much longer."

"It's for the resident's safety."

_"I'm aware of that."_

_The Auror did not look apologetic, but stood aside for Remus to pass out of the alley first. Teddy followed his father, anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach. As they reentered the street, a snowball pelted out of the crowd and thwacked Remus in the side of the head. He reeled, gasping with the cold, and whirled to face his assailant. Another snowball from behind him hit him in the small of the back, accompanied by a derisive, "We don't want werewolves here!"_

_Remus was wiping at his face, stony, when another arched out of the now nervous crowd and splattered down his neck. In the next instant, a barrage of snow and insults was flung at him from all directions; Teddy yelled in fury, but there was nothing he could do. He looked around for the Auror; Parkin was standing well out of the way, not participating but not offering to help. As Teddy watched and listened in helpless rage, a small smile twitched at the corner of the Auror's mouth. Remus was backing into the alley again, covered in snow but back straight and head held high. A snowball struck his jaw and a shallow gash appeared in his cheek, but he did not acknowledge it. He disapparated._

_--_

_Teddy was standing, still seething, in what he guessed was Remus' front room; it was small, and cluttered without being messy. His father was just ushering Dumbledore into the room, looking faintly bemused. He was even older now; his hair was streaked with gray and his still young face was more lined. _

_Dumbledore took a seat on the couch and Remus sat opposite him in a threadbare armchair. "How are you, Headmaster?"_

_"Well, considering," Dumbledore said. He gave a theatrical sigh and waved a hand vaguely in the air. "Once again, I am in need of a Defense against the Dark Arts Professor."_

_"I read about your last in the Daily Prophet," Remus said with a small smile. "Will he recover?"_

_"Unlikely," Dumbledore said. "Pity, really. But it can't be helped, and so we move on. To you. I would very much like you to teach this next year, Remus."_

_Teddy laughed out loud at his father's look of blatant shock. "Headmaster, I…I'm flattered, really, but I couldn't…I can't. You know I can't."_

_"I think it's more a matter of that you _won't,_ Remus," Dumbledore said. His light blue eyes twinkled knowingly as he watched the younger man across the room. "You are an excellent wizard, and I am sure an excellent teacher. Your best subject was Defense, was it not?"_

_"Yes, but that doesn't mean I can…I could teach, Headmaster. I believe I could." There was something akin to despair lurking in the corners of Remus' expression now. "I would love to. But I can't. Not with my condition. It would be far too dangerous."_

__

"You have heard of the Wolfsbane potion?"

Remus nodded, and a faint blush tinged his pale skin. "Of course. But I've never been able to afford it."

_"Understandable," Dumbledore nodded. "But I would consider it part of your salary. Severus Snape is more than able of brewing it, and I will ask him if he is willing."_

_A brief look of skepticism passed across Remus' face, but he shrugged faintly. "I don't know, Headmaster. It seems risky. Very risky. I don't trust myself…"_

__

"But I trust you, Remus." Dumbledore stood. Remus looked startled at the abruptness of the movement, but stood as well. "Think about it. I will contact you tomorrow morning. Term starts the first of September. Good day."

Dumbledore swished out of the room and Remus stared after him, a bemused smile growing on his face.

_--_

_The next few memories were all Harry's, and they blurred together in Teddy's mind. They flowed together smoothly, evenly, chronicling the events of Remus teaching at Hogwarts. _

_Teddy saw Harry meeting Remus on the train, watched with pride as his father dispelled the dementor with apparent ease…_

_Watched as Remus taught a class full of students how to dispel a boggart…laughed as Remus laughed at the sight of Snape in a dress and handbag…_

_Watched as Remus taught Harry a patronus against his boggart, proud of the way Remus was able to withstand the influence of the dementor…_

_Watched as Remus encouraged, guided, and helped the struggling students in his classes, beamed as the students greeted their teacher with enthusiasm in the halls…_

_Watched as Remus rescued Harry from Severus Snape and confiscated what Teddy recognized as his own Marauders Map…_

_Watched as Remus, drawn and pale, spoke about his childhood in the Shrieking Shack, and then transformed under the gentle glow of the full moon…_

_Watched as Remus resigned and said his last goodbyes to Harry, leaving Hogwarts simply because of what he was…_

_And then, during a change in memories, Harry's voice issued from the darkness. "Here's what you've been waiting for, Ted…Remus and your mother."_

_Teddy's heart skipped a beat and his fists clenched spasmodically at his sides. His breath hitched, and a grin spread across his face. What he had been waiting for indeed._

_He was standing in the deserted hallway of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, still seething. The front door clicked behind him and he turned, waiting, as the knob turned and the door swung open. His father entered, shut the door quietly behind him, and tapped the locks with his wand. They rattled and clanked, sealing the door shut again. Remus turned and walked quickly and quietly down the hall to the very end, where a soft murmur of voices could be heard. He opened the door and slipped inside; Teddy barely made it through after him. The kitchen was full of people; they waved or smiled at Remus as he sat down at the end next to—Teddy's heart pounded—a young, cheerful looking witch with short, spiky, purple hair. He walked as if in a dream to stand behind her, staring down at her with a sudden lump in his throat. His mother. _

_"Wotcher," she said to Remus, and stuck out a small hand to shake his. Remus looked faintly surprised at the exuberance of her greeting, but shook her hand with a smile._

_"Evening."_

_"Tonks."_

_Remus' eyebrows creased. "Pardon me?"  
"My name," Teddy's mother explained, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to be called Tonks. "My name is Tonks."_

_"Oh. Remus Lupin."_

_Tonks cocked her head at him and her eyes narrowed. Remus' face tightened. "Are you…Kingsley was saying we have a resident werewolf. That would be you?"_

_"That's right." _

_  
Tonks flashed him a pert smile. "Well, I'm the resident Metamorphmagus. And Tonks is just a surname. You looked a little confused. I'm new to this whole Order thing…how long have you been?"_

_Remus raised an eyebrow. "You're not bothered with my condition?"_

_  
Tonks shrugged. "A little. But that's not manners, is it? I'm sure you're a very kind person for ninety-eight percent of the time." She turned with a sort of bounce to face Dumbledore, who had just stood, leaving Remus to blink, nonplussed but grateful, at the back of her spiked head._

_--_

_The next few memories passed much as the Hogwarts ones had. His mother and father escorting Harry from Privet Drive to Grimmauld Place…his mother and father sitting in on an Order meeting…his mother and father saying goodbye before Remus left on a mission…their first date…their first argument…the fight in the Ministry of Magic…the night following that Remus spent with her in St. Mungo's…his father's rejection of her, and her depression…the night after Dumbledore died…their first kiss…their wedding day…a blush of embarrassment as his mother told his father that she was pregnant…Remus leaving for several weeks…the conflict with Harry at Grimmauld Place…Remus returning, Dora slapping him across the face…_

_And then it all slowed down to a crawl as Teddy appeared on the grounds at Hogwarts. The noise was immediate, and the constant flashes of light and cries of pain and surprise told him that he was in the middle of a battle. Judging by what he had already seen, it was the scene of his parents' deaths. He felt an overwhelming sense of grief as he found them, fighting together, knowing that he was about to lose them. He watched them hungrily, drinking in the sight of them working in synchronization, his father precise and graceful, his mother quick and sporadic. _

_Teddy somehow knew just when it was about to happen; his mother, distracted for a split second by a stray spell, stumbled. The green light hit her square in the chest, and she toppled like a limp rag doll, wand spinning out of her hand to disappear into the darkness. Teddy cried out, but his own voice was lost by the agonized scream of his father; Teddy felt tears spring to his eyes as Remus twisted, desperate, to see his wife lying spread-eagled on the ground before another Killing Curse hit him in the side and he too crumpled. _

_Charlie Weasley appeared out of nowhere to continue the duel with Antonin Dolohov and Teddy knew by the tears staining his cheeks that he had seen the whole thing. Teddy walked slowly forward, grateful that Harry was granting him this extra bit of time, and knelt down at his parent's sides. They had fallen only a few feet apart, hands outstretched as if reaching for one another. They both looked peaceful in death, still and silent as the battle raged around them. Teddy felt the hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he gazed at them both, and he suddenly wanted to be gone, to leave; he didn't want to remember them like this, dead. He wanted them alive, wanted them back with him…even as he reached the point of hysteria, the scene swirled around him and his parents vanished._

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Review? :) Sorry I ended on such a terrible note, but you know. Had to end somewhere.


	5. Chapter 5

Here's the last one...sorry it's so short-it just finishes off the story, I suppose. I was considering writing one where Teddy tries to bring Remus and Tonks back anyways, but I've read a few like that and I wouldn't to take any ideas, so I don't think it will happen.

Thanks so much to all of you for your lovely reviews! I love that other people like what I write. It makes me smile. :) Just like that.

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_**Chapter Five**_

Harry was waiting in the study when Teddy arrived, tears still trailing down his cheeks. He sank into a chair opposite his godfather and stared at the floor, trying desperately to check his emotions. Harry's hand on his shoulder only served to increase his tears; he sobbed silently for a few moments, shoulders shaking, mind filled with images of his father.

"I don't hate him," he finally said. His voice was hoarse and choked, and Harry's hand squeezed his shoulder tightly.

"I know. I don't think you ever did, Ted."

"No, I did." Teddy looked up, adamant, and scrubbed at his face. "I really did, Harry. I didn't understand him; everything I'd heard told me he was a loser, a coward, a nobody, and I really hated him. I wasn't proud of him; I was…I was _glad _he died, Harry. I was glad." He ducked his head, remembering his father's death and feeling his heart twist. "I was glad."

"And now?" Harry sat down on the desk in front of him, and Teddy looked up at his godfather and attempted a smile that was lost in a wave of fresh tears.

"I watched him die, Harry. I watched them die, and I just want them back…I wish….Merlin's Beard, I wish they hadn't died. They were my _parents, _Harry! And you're wonderful, you really are, but he was my _dad._ And I didn't even know him…"

"But you do now, Ted," Harry said softly. "You know him. And I'm only sorry I didn't do this years ago. I was wrong to keep him from you, Teddy. You have all rights to be angry with me."

"I'm not angry." Teddy wiped his face with his sleeve and took a deep breath. He glanced at the pensive, bluish thoughts swirling strangely in the dim light of the office. "Could I borrow this for a while?"

"Yes. We'll have to look into getting you one. I only chose the best ones; there are still dozens of them I collected. People couldn't stop giving them to me, once they found out what I was going to use them for. And Teddy…" Harry stood. "Now that you know, you can ask questions. You have a right. Ask anyone who knew him, and they'll tell you anything you want to know. I think your grandmother may have a few of his journals in the attic somewhere. And I've got pictures. Plenty of them. I asked your grandmother to make an album, and I think she may have it ready for you, along with a few letters from him to your mother, I think she said."

Teddy stood as well, a little overwhelmed, but feeling as if a deadweight was lifting that he hadn't even known he'd been carrying. "Thanks, Harry."

Harry looked a little concerned. "I know you miss them, Teddy. But just remember that death is irreversible. It's unconquerable in the sense that we can't bring people back. They're gone, Teddy, as much as it hurts to think about it. But they wouldn't want you to spend a lifetime wishing for something you can't have."

"I know." Teddy thrust his hands into his pockets. "I don't think they would have either." He flashed a brief smile. "I'll be good."

Harry pulled him into a hug. "I know you will. Your father would have been so proud." He pulled away and held Teddy at arms length to examine him. "You do look remarkably like him. When you're not morphing like your mother."

Teddy grinned. "I noticed."

Harry returned the grin, and then reached into his own pocket and withdrew a closed fist. He hesitated, and then held out his hand and dropped two small objects into Teddy's. Teddy closed his fist around them, knowing instantly what they were. He opened his hand to see two thin, silver wedding bands lying on his palm. One was slightly thicker and larger than the other, which had two tiny diamonds set into its smooth, polished surface. Teddy felt the lump in his throat returning as he rolled them around in his hand. It was as if they were a bit of his parents, he thought. Just like them in every way. He looked up at Harry and nodded awkwardly, not trusting himself to speak. Harry understood, and clasped Teddy in a hug again.

"Keep them; you can give your mother's to your wife someday. You can wear your father's now if you'd like, or wait until your wedding day. But he'd have wanted you to have them."

"Thanks," Teddy managed, and he slipped them both into his pocket. Harry gripped his arm and turned to leave the study. Teddy followed, and took a last glance at the pensive before closing the door behind him.

Tomorrow he would begin to ask. He'd pay a visit to Grandma and Grandpa Weasley, his surrogate aunts and uncles…maybe he'd take a trip over to Kingsley's office at the Ministry or check out the library for books that might mention his parents. Hermione would know of some. He'd get the album and journals from his Gran now, he thought, and maybe spend a few hours more with his father.

His father. Remus Lupin.

Teddy allowed himself a grin and clenched his hand over the rings in his pocket.

His father.

_The End_

Review! And you're welcome to go check out my other stories now...:)


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